Acting is like laying your soul bare. Peeling back the layers one by one. Not so much pretending to be something you are not, but revealing the pieces of who you are. Even the ones you've hidden from yourself.
The greatest fear is not exposure, but that when the curtain closes, you may not be able to put yourself back together again.
My friend Rachael Szabo had been bugging me for months to do a show. I had secretly promised to myself that if Man of La Mancha came around then I would audition.
I even started practicing "Impossible Dream" to be ready for a theoretical audition that I thought may never happen. I quite shamelessly fantasized about how awesome it would be to play Don Quixote!
A week later Rachael is cutting my hair and begs me to do Fiddler on the Roof. I am non-plused. She says there is a Broadway Review. Not interested. Then she casually says Geyer PAC is doing Man of Lamancha. . . At that moment my heart leapt, and the fire of inner vision was ignited within me.
I laid down whatever melancholy burden of sanity I had left and made myself go audition. I went to the audition thinking I'm going to do my best. I've got a great shot at the lead role! Why wouldn't they pick me? I had no clue. And so when I was selected to be Don Quixote I congratulated myself and geared up for the challenge.
Fast forward a couple months. It's Thursday night practice. One week before showtime. And I didn't know the lines to a scene from act one! I let my director down and I let the rest of the cast down. I knew in my heart I would be ready, but that's not good enough.
Just like in every aspect of life, my goal should be to serve. Serve my director, stage manager, my fellow cast members, the audience, and ultimately God. If my performance is not perfect every time then it confuses the supporting cast and prevents the director from seeing the whole picture. Ultimately this will hold everybody back not just myself.
I don't know what arrogance and naïvety possessed me to even audition for this role. I had NO IDEA the incredible weight of responsibility that was being put on my shoulders.
So many peoples time, resources, and yes even hopes and dreams are hanging in the balance of me knowing my lines, and telling this story with all integrity.
What a huge weight to carry. What a precious gift to guard and hold dear.
What an impossible dream. . .
"And for that thou wouldest have me stop? Nay let a man be overthrown ten thousand times and still must he rise and again do battle! The Enchanter may confuse the outcome, but the effort remains sublime."
Nobody is coming to your training workshop to gain a new skill set.
I've been on the giving and receiving end of this dirty secret.
I've been to mandatory training. I've been to workshops because I believed I needed the knowledge, information, skills.
Even though I received knowledge, information, and skills. I left unsatisfied!
What I really wanted was to be heard and understood. I wanted to be validated. I wanted to know "I'm ok".
I've given training courses. I've watched people glaze over as I shared priceless insights.
Simply saying "You're not alone", "Look at all these people here to learn about this issue" is not enough.
The response is "They are here because they're boss makes them". "I'm sure they are not a bad as me."
You used to be an expert if you knew information others did not.
You are only an expert today if you have felt what others have, and found a solution.
Your story is more important than your information. Information is a commodity. Anybody can get information. They don't need a human to get information. They need a human to get validation.
Share your story of failure and struggle with the issue. If you don't have a story of struggle and failure then you are not an expert.
Real things break. Fake things are perfect and always work. Unless you tell people about the brokenness of you and your ideas they won't believe you are real.
Why did you gain the knowledge, information, and skills you now have? Because you were failing. If you weren't failing then you don't have anything to offer an audience that is failing.
We want to know you failed. This is how we are validated. Only when we know you failed do we believe you have valuable isight.
In the comments let me know how you validate your audience?
Be ready to start from ground zero every 8 years or so. Teens grow up. Then they rip your heart out and take it to college with them!
My youth group WAS the media team AND the worship team! They were not just students. They became fellow labors in the God's work.
We slayed sacred cows together. We discussed hard topics and grew up together. I saw boys grow into men, and girls into Godly women.
THEN THEY ALL LEFT ME!!
This is enough to make you walk away from youth ministry. I "felt called" to transition to college & young marrieds. In reality I was just deeply wounded from the loss of my students.
They are doing great though and I see them on holidays, and some come home for summer.
I have 3 weddings on my calendar!
Nobody prepared me for this though. You need to be ready. It's ok to grieve the loss. It's healthy. You may resist the new batch of 6th graders coming your way. Give them a chance, and fall in love all over again. I know I have.
You have to bring your A game. We are competing for the attention of the most over advertised media savvy always on generation ever.
If they aren't interested in what you are saying its because you are not interesting. That hurts.
If you say "this generation just doesn't care" then there is nothing you can do. You might as well stop trying to communicate to them.
I prefer to accept that if they didn't hear and respond to what I was trying to communicate I didn't work hard enough to communicate in a compelling way.
I believe every time we speak it should be an expression of art. Painfully work on your art. Hone your craft. They are used to watching 30 sec adds that took tons of cash and man hours to create. They will not listen to us drone on uninspired for 45 min or even 15 min. It's not about a big show or entertainment. It's about caring enough to know where they are hurting and go hurt with them there and share how the life changing message of Jesus changes everything. Share that with passion, personal venerability, and art.
Checkout how Propaganda shares this message in the video below. You might not like the style, you might not like his conclusions, but you are engaged to listen because of the compelling nature of his art.
There is nothing God honoring about throwing a message together 45 min before youth group. If what you're saying matters make it count. Make it art.
Helping others realize the dream of their Creator
