My friend Rachael Szabo had been bugging me for months to do a show. I had secretly promised to myself that if Man of La Mancha came around then I would audition.
I even started practicing "Impossible Dream" to be ready for a theoretical audition that I thought may never happen. I quite shamelessly fantasized about how awesome it would be to play Don Quixote!
A week later Rachael is cutting my hair and begs me to do Fiddler on the Roof. I am non-plused. She says there is a Broadway Review. Not interested. Then she casually says Geyer PAC is doing Man of Lamancha. . . At that moment my heart leapt, and the fire of inner vision was ignited within me.
I laid down whatever melancholy burden of sanity I had left and made myself go audition. I went to the audition thinking I'm going to do my best. I've got a great shot at the lead role! Why wouldn't they pick me? I had no clue. And so when I was selected to be Don Quixote I congratulated myself and geared up for the challenge.
Fast forward a couple months. It's Thursday night practice. One week before showtime. And I didn't know the lines to a scene from act one! I let my director down and I let the rest of the cast down. I knew in my heart I would be ready, but that's not good enough.
Just like in every aspect of life, my goal should be to serve. Serve my director, stage manager, my fellow cast members, the audience, and ultimately God. If my performance is not perfect every time then it confuses the supporting cast and prevents the director from seeing the whole picture. Ultimately this will hold everybody back not just myself.
I don't know what arrogance and naïvety possessed me to even audition for this role. I had NO IDEA the incredible weight of responsibility that was being put on my shoulders.
So many peoples time, resources, and yes even hopes and dreams are hanging in the balance of me knowing my lines, and telling this story with all integrity.
What a huge weight to carry. What a precious gift to guard and hold dear.
What an impossible dream. . .
"And for that thou wouldest have me stop? Nay let a man be overthrown ten thousand times and still must he rise and again do battle! The Enchanter may confuse the outcome, but the effort remains sublime."